THE ALTERNATIVE BUCPOWER.COM AWARDS Whilst votes for the main awards are arriving in their droves from around the world for the main categories, time to offer up the annual alternative awards where the categories change on a whim from year to year and definitely do not result in kind of awards ceremony hosted by a drunk Ricky Gervais. THE RUDY CARPENTER AWARD FOR WEARING YOUR CAP BACKWARDS ON THE SIDELINE Named for the former third-string QB who saw action in one game in three years but looked very cool on the bench doing so.  There was some real competition for this award in 2016 as undrafted free agent rookie Leonard Wester looked in the driving seat until injuries saw him on the gameday active squad and playing as a tackle-eligible in games.  Several players had nothing but a handful of inactive appearances meaning that Ryan Griffin win his second straight title in spite of making to the active roster for the Monday Night game in Carolina when the Bucs had seven injured players.  So his career resume is now 32 games on the roster, one time getting dressed but as many passes as I have.    With Mike Glennon likely to leave as a free agent, Griffin will be looking to move up in the pecking order to be as important as his housemates, Cameron Brate and Adam Humphries are. NFL RECORD-BREAKING STATISTIC THAT MEANS JACK When it was announced that the Vikings’ Sam Bradford set a new single-season record for completion percentage.   Which means he threw a ton of four- yard passes on 3rd & 8.   Has a worse passer ever made so much money or be traded for such value with such little return on the field? BS OF THE YEAR A second straight recognition but for legal reasons we cannot reveal the names of the winners.  All we can say is that their support went from “definitely over 200” to “over 75” in 2016 and several prominent members of the Tampa media have a sweepstake running on the announcement of the number of “votes” they will claim to receive in 2017. PODCAST OF THE YEAR This has been the sole property of one Bill Simmons, formerly of ESPN and now with HBO (suspended and then fired for calling Roger Goodell a *******  ******* liar on air).  His superb weekly show with Cousin Sal guessing the NFL betting lines and talking about the league is mandatory listening and has taken the No.1 spot for many years.  Until 2016 when the Bucs decided to give offensive linemen Donovan Smith and Ali Marpet their own weekly show with Casey Phillips.   It has been hilarious and educational all year with the two of them happily throwing each other under the bus for various faux pas and generally trashing the living habits of other members of the offense.   These shows are still available for free on iTunes and I would recommend downloading one just for entertainment alone.  The section “Big Man Problems” is always a good weekly slot. HEAVIEST PLAYER EVER TO THROW A TOUCHDOWN PASS The Chiefs’ Dontari Poe who came in as a blocker on a short yardage play and then threw a jump pass touchdown on a trick play.   Poe is a defensive tackle weighing in at over 325 pounds which means he narrowly broke the record set by the Bucs’ Byron Leftwich in 2009. BEST COMMENTARY TEAM Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth followed by Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth with Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth as an alternate.   They are that good.  Michaels has been the best play-by-play man in the business in many sports for over three decades and no-one does the analysis role better than Collinsworth.  The Super Bowl should be given to these two in perpetuity.    Honorable mentions on play-by-plays to Thom Brennaman and then to Jon Gruden for color work.    The Chris Myers-Ronde Barber team has improved dramatically and it is a shame we saw so little of John Lynch on Bucs’ games this year.   Joe Buck needs to lose that ridiculous beard or go back to working with John Smoltz on the baseball coverage. THE DAVID DIEHL AWARD FOR THE WORST COMMENTATOR Enough said.   You dread each week finding out that he and Sam Rosen would be doing your game. The CBS version is of course Spero Dedes and Solomon Wilcots who are the commentary version of a root canal. THE WALLY PIPP AWARD The final Bucs’ radio show of the year with Dirk Koetter saw regular host TJ Rives have an evening off and was replaced by long-time team radio producer Jeff Ryan.    He and the coach put together an excellent hour.  Hey TJ, ever heard of Lou Gehrig?!