Bitterness & Back to Basics Firstly, may I take this opportunity to thank Mr Paul Stewart for becoming our resident Bruce Forsyth. Or Joe Pasquale. Why? For changing the rules on accuracy-based competitions to mirror those of “The Price is Right” whereby you are allowed under, but never over your prediction. This more than likely comes across as the ramblings of a bitter, twisted old man. Three out of four isn’t bad, and I’ll allow you to work out which I’m not. BUCS LOSE! BUCS LOSE! BUCS LOSE! No, I do not revel in the losses suffered by Tampa Bay, I’m merely anticipating the headlines for the next nine games, whilst also hoping we don’t finish 2-14, as a result of the simple fact that we are currently on a par with Oakland. That, coupled with our inability to grasp the fundamentals of football – running, catching and tackling, suggests we may yet go winless for the seasons remainder. To clarify, I do not put the running blame on Carnell Williams, Michael Pittman, Mike Alstott or Bruce Gradkowski (He’s mobile ya know). Instead, I query the strategy of throwing the ball 48 times with winds of a similar figure, when, as 99.9% of people know, YOU CANNOT RELY ON A 40MPH WIND TO BLOW THE BALL INTO YOUR RECEIVERS HANDS AND MAKE THEM CATCH/HOLD IT. That’s the rant over, really. Seriously though, if our receivers are having difficulties holding the ball, why continue to throw? Surely attempting the run would have brought about better results, like, oh yards? Hell, let’s go out on a limb and say even first downs? I have noticed, rather bewilderingly, that when I DON’T criticise a group of players (Defense) or a player (Matt Bryant) we lose (New Orleans/New York). As such, I now intend to criticise the entire Bucs team in the hope that such a coincidence will in fact re-occur. Offense – You can’t catch. Defense – You can’t tackle. Special Teams (Hey, I’m not missing anyone out here) – You can’t score TDs! There, it’s done. Hopefully next week I’ll be writing about a Bucs whitewash of the Saints, and apologising individually to every player on the Buccaneers roster. Alphabetically. Genuinely, I do predict a W on Sunday. Why? Several reasons, perhaps the most significant being it’s Bruce Gradkowski’s second game against Sean Payton’s defense, and the fact that he is getting more experience (in part as a result of throwing the ball so many times). I’m so sure; I’ve added Alex Smith to my fantasy team, anticipating at least one TD from #81. I’ve come across some utter guff already regarding draft day 07, and for a change it has not come from my own hand. Apparently, the Bucs might be looking at a WR in the first round. Excuse me, but Galloway’s age, the potential realisation that Michael Clayton had a fluke rookie season rather than a sophomore slump, and the fact that Maurice Stovall STILL doesn’t play doesn’t strike me as a greater need than shoring up and backing up our D. Although analysing it does make you wonder… This weeks First Down (and Paul, please don’t edit to Worst Drown!) saw Mike Carlson discuss our own Bucco Bruce II, suggesting he may develop bad habits and never fit Gruden’s offence as a result of being thrown in at the deep end because of the Bucs allowing Brian Griese to hike to Chicago (and the Superbowl), and only getting a one-year deal out of Chris Simms. Was Bruce drafted as a developmental QB, to learn the playbook inside out, and start after one or two years, or was he signed ready to back-up Chris Simms? NFL WATCH The Raiders beat the Steelers? With 98 offensive yards, and no offensive touchdowns (a feat that’s occurred the last 3 weeks, with Al Davis’ Rocky Horror Picture Show joining the mess that is ourselves and also Da’ Bears)? Meaning they are on a two-game win streak? Thankfully insanity has not reared its ugly head throughout the NFL as the Desert Birds are still woefully diabolical at 1-7. The Seahawks’ new starting QB Seneca Wallace was only recently given classes to learn the playbook – now, this could be the novice in me talking, but surely all signed Quarterback’s should have this as part of their initial training, moreso than getting out on the field? Admittedly, I doubt it occurred with Tim Rattay as he’s yet to be trusted to be given the keys to the Tampa offense, and more than likely never will with Luke McCown’s impending return. Or maybe he’s just slow. By a year. Next week, Tim Rattay lights up the pro-leagues! In Canada. Richard Lowe November 2006