PTI - The draft drama from the couch (not Tim)
Having finally sobered up from the first Bucs UK draft party, time to pen some typically inane and rant-filled comments on the 2006 NFL draft. And it was nice to watch the draft with one member of the Davies' household who knows something about football, and who was still celebrating Birmingham City and West Brom being relegated on the same afternoon.

In an endless series of postings on message boards around the world came mock drafts. And without fail, all of them were wrong before the first selection was even announced by Paul Tagliabue as the Houston Texans went for Super Mario rather than Reggie Bush, thereby consigning every prediction to the bin. At least we had the satisfaction in knowing that helmet hair Kiper was wrong too.

And for British fans, we had no Mel Kiper - could things have got any better? Rich Eisen did a good job in NFL Network but whoever fed Dan Reeves and Butch Davis the Mogodon tables before the draft needs to stop and be named and shamed, Then again, perhaps not.

All the 2006 draft actually proved, is that the only people who know what they are doing, and I mean the only people, are the scouting departments of the 31 NFL teams (not so fast Buffalo). These are the people who have seen the films, interviewed the players and measured the 40 times. Be honest now, how many of you had even heard of Davin Joseph before Sunday, and how many of you could even name the team he played for in college? And even then, how much film had you seen of him?

You can bet that Bill Muir, Jon Gruden et al, have probably watched every snap he took during the 2005 Sooners season and know this guy better than some of their own players. They wanted him, they got him. And for all the wannabe Kipers out there who have been posting their "expert" opinions (their words, definitely not ours), come back and pass judgement in three years time. Not 24 hours because you have gotten bored playing Doom 3 and have decided to post another comment on another message board somewhere. Give our front office a little respect.

Some draft thoughts
The selection of Reggie Bush by the Saints meant an immediate call to Myke Cromblehome of The Shuttleworth Snap, owner of Deuce McAllister. And within 20 seconds, first official swear word of the draft back down the phone to Phil Jones. Reggie, realising that the draft can be the hardest part of it all, makes a mental note to not be in camp until at least Week 4 in a contract holdout.

And did I hear a lone chorus from First Drown complaining about the Bush selection by stating "that the Saints have already got Aaron Stecker"?

The Jets' star selection of D'BrickShitHouse Ferguson was a good one but if you have the draft on tape, watch the Jets fan on the right hand side of the screen mouth "shit pick" at the camera. Quality television.

Did anyone notice how small the shirts were that were being held up by the first round selections at the draft? You couldn't have even gotten one of Matt Leinhart's arms in there. And talking of Leinhart, how pissed off did he look at ending up in Arizona?

Norv Careford, owner of the FFL's Masked Raider has long been known for his one correct draft prediction of all time (Manning over Leaf). 2006 will be the year that he was screaming for Leinhart to become an Oakland Raider, and they got Michael Huff. Norv then starts talking up Andrew Walter as being the next (?) great Raider QB. "That's what you said about Kerry Collins" states Norv's son before being kicked out of the house.

Dan Reeves is really Mr.Garrison from South Park. Am I right?

Broderick Bunkley was described as being "306 pounds of solid muscle". "A bit like me sometimes then" claimed Phil Jones. The over/under on when everyone else at the draft party stopped laughing was 37 minutes.

You heard it here - Vince Young will be a bust.

You've been great - enjoy Erasure.

Paul Stewart, May 2006.