Predictions for Week 14
Forgetting the Thursday night game between the Bears and Redskins, which as it was on NFL Network, went un-noticed by about 85% of the American NFL audience. It was on over here in the UK but at 2am in the morning so we didn't notice it either to be honest.
I was going to try and do predictions this week in the style of UB40, the excellent British reggae band who I saw last night playing at Wembley, but after "Red red wine" to describe the bitching from the Cardinals' offense, you run out of ideas for the rest of the games.
So, with no kind of lyrical influence, but hopefully the sort of devine one that brought me a 14-2 mark a fortnight ago, here goes:-
Carolina at Jacksonville - the 1995 expansion bowl. Jags on a roll, Panthers get eliminated from the division race this week and the Bucs UK's Lee Bromfield downs a bottle of Verve Cliquot in one to celebrate. Pick - Jaguars.
Detroit at Dallas - The Lions' season is doing a Franz Klammer (going downhill very quickly). And it continues to today. Pick - Cowboys.
Miami of London at Buffalo - Oh come on Dolphins, now the 1976 Bucs are starting to get worried. Please win. Upset pick - Dolphins.
NY Giants at Philadelphia - If it's December, then it's time for Eli Manning to play like a donkey. And he'll make an ass of himself today. Pick - Giants.
Oakland at Green Bay - Will he play, won't he play. Favre or Russell, take your pick. My daughter Tanith's pick to annoy our Raider-supporting postman - Packers.
Pittsburgh at New England - They've had a couple of wobbles this week like a golfer on the verge of shooting a course record. Pick - VideoCheats.
San Diego at Tennessee - You can always rely on Norv Turner to take a top quality team and turn it into something average. Pick - Titans.
St.Louis at Cincinnati - They've won three out of four since starting 0-8. How 'bout them Rams? Er, no thanks. - Pick - Bengals.
Tampa Bay at Houston - This could well be the game that the breaks start to go against the Bucs but how can I pick against my team of 25 years? Pick - Bucs.
Arizona at Seattle - The Cardinals have always had Seattle's number but today the Seahawks clinch their division. Pick - Seahawks.
Minnesota at San Francisco - OK, so the Vikings had three interception TDs a fortnight ago.. and they're playing Trent Dilfer. Nuff said. Pick - Vikings.
Cleveland at NY Jets - Sorry, but I'm not picking against the Fudge Brownies any more. They are just too damn unpredictable. - Pick - Browns.
Kansas City at Denver - "Wise men say, there's only one Elway, but I can't help falling in love with Jay" - OK, so I got one UB40 song in somehow. - Pick - Ex-Bucs, sorry Broncos .
Indianapolis at Baltimore - That throw by LB Bart Scott of the flag on MNF was the best arm a Baltimore player has ever had. Easy gag, easy pick. Pick - Colts.
New Orleans at Atlanta - Zzzzzzzzzzz, Zzzzzzzzzzz, Zzzzzzzzzzz - that's the sound of America's interest this Monday Night stinker. Pick - Saints .
Paul Stewart, December 2007