Bucs Continue to Infuriate and Implode “Ding Dong, FUAT’s Dead Gruden smacked him in the head, He won’t kick for the Bucs no more, Because we showed him the effing door.” Glad I got that off my chest, it certainly made me feel better. So the Bucs are FUATless at last – only about six weeks too late as he really should have been jettisoned after the Rams game, and has since gone on to play a dubious role in at least two more defeats. Most Bucs fans could have gladly booted his head through the uprights from 45 yards and inwards after last Sunday’s coup de gras, when we took shooting yourself in the foot to a new level of art form. Five things I think 1. Now that FUAT is gone it’s time to wonder what the hell Todd Steussie and Tim Brown are still doing on our roster. Both are (Very) aged veterans contributing nothing at all who will be lucky to see the field again this season, unless a ridiculous injury crisis ensues. Surely practice squad and younger players would be a better long term prospect now that the season has gone down the tubes. 2. I think I am at least consoled by the fact that Meshawn and his Cowboys, along with the Panthers are also both 4-7, and down the crapper like ourselves. 3. I think having been to the club’s 20th anniversary meal last week, it’s refreshing to see plenty of other people who are just as daft about the Bucs as I am. May we all keep the faith and one day again celebrate another Tampa Bay Super Bowl win, and even a kick-off return TD. Apparently I bear a passing resemblance to Todd Yoder and as I’ve been compared to far worse over the years I’ll take that one. (Ed - both are pictured - you decide!) 4. I think I’m glad Ricky Williams has spurned the chance to return to the NFL in 2005, as that’s one less bad signing Bruce Allen might be tempted to make in March. 5. I think that having gone 2-4 in our division last year, last weeks lost to the Panthers drop us to 1-2 at the half-way stage this year. That’s 3-6 in our division since we won the Superbowl and we are being kicked around by our rivals – this more than anything highlights why we have degenerated in the ranks of the NFL these last 2 seasons. We have now lost ridiculously to the Panthers 3 times in the last 14 months, all within the last minute or overtime, each time finding another weird and whacky way to hang ourselves. The Chuckster would probably argue we are getting better as a team and showing signs of progress, but the fact that we keep kicking ourselves up the arse repeatedly tells another story. Late interceptions were the killers against the Skins and Seahawks, missed kicks and fumbles in St Louis, Non-field goal attempts and defensive breakdowns in Atlanta, and finally a FUAT kicking clinic and an interception for touchdown completed last weeks latest “how did we lose that game” candidate. The plain facts are that good teams do not commit such boneheaded errors, nor do they repeat them as the Bucs appear determined to do this year. We have lost games we should have won – Carolina, Washington, St Louis, Seattle – to average or poor teams because we aren’t good enough. We find the way to cock it up rather than the route to victory, and no amount of positive outlook, or pointing at the stats can hide this. Talk of play-off possibilities is total pie in the sky; the NFC may be weaker than a vicar’s handshake this season, but I guarantee it’s nowhere near bad enough to enable us to qualify. We don’t deserve a play-off berth for the way we have self-destructed again and again. We’ve got five games left this season, two against decent sides in Atlanta and San Diego, and three against fellow cellar dwellers like ourselves in New Orleans, Carolina and Phoenix. Winning three of them will represent an achievement for us – winning out and finishing 9-7, will merit an investigation and drug testing of our opponents but let’s face one certainty, it isn’t going to happen. Next up is our rematch with The Falcons who have capitalised on appointing the best GM we have ever had and who was removed by our own will, and gone in exactly the opposite direction to us since he landed there. The history of that move alone dictates that both of us will be up for this one, and now we apparently have a kicker who has a chance from over 22 yards out, we might just register a few more points. Maybe it’s last weeks defeat to the team I detest the most, but I simply can’t raise any enthusiasm for this season at present. Perhaps we will win on Sunday, then again we may not as in the grand scheme of things we are simply jockeying for position at The Marriott Marquis in April. However we fare these next 5 weeks will determine what particular time on draft day Paul Tagliabue utters the phrase “And The Tampa Bay Buccaneers select………..” and that is the true shame of a second straight season flushed down the throne. The fact that we have played such a direct role in our own downfall makes it all the more galling and harder to take. I’m off now to launch myself at that Carolina punter with the stupid name.