Bucko’s Column - November 13
Apologies Buckettes for the two-week absence from these pages. Bucko got waylaid in the playground by the school bully and made to give up his lunch-money as well as getting a wedgie.

But talking of Richie Incognito, Bucko would like to complement his lawyer/agent for the most scripted polished and full of bullshit performance by his client since Hannibal Lecter pleaded for mitigation. And how much was Jay Glazer paid to go along with it?

Apparently the new Madden NFL game is so realistic that Joe Flacco instantly get a pass interference call when a ball is thrown more than 30 yards.

TV announcers need to start pronouncing the Arizona Cardinals RB's name properly. It is actually "Rashard Mendenhall fumbles" - people keep forgetting the final word. This is a change from his time with the Steelers when his full name was “Mendenhall comes up short of the first down marker”.

Injury news and both the Vikings’ Christian Ponder and the Packers’ Aaron Rodgers are out with injuries to their non-throwing shoulder. Outside of obvious gags about Ponder not knowing which shoulder that would be, it is actually the only time he and Rodgers will ever be compared in the same sentence.

Another Madden game update and this one was taken directly from the 2013 NFL Rules guide. “Whenever playing as the Patriots and a ball is thrown to Rob Gronkowski that falls incomplete, said player will throw his hands up in disgust at an official and four seconds later, a flag for interference will be thrown”.

The Packers have signed Matt Flynn to be their next-in-line-to-get-injured QB. Flynn’s workout consisted of holding a clipboard for three hours and wearing his cap backwards on the sideline, something he has had experience at doing for numerous NFL teams.

Monday Night Football drinking game: do a shot every time Jon Gruden says "I really like this kid". The only downside is that you will watch the fourth quarter on highlights from a rehab ward.

And Bucko could not go this week without a mention of his boy Dez Bryant who has achieved the impossible by becoming the biggest prima donna asshole wide receiver in Dallas Cowboys’ history. Michael Irvin is already in training for a 2014 comeback to try and reclaim his title.